KabuSaku: I Hate You
by SekeSakura
Summary: A song fic with the lyrics I Hate You by Sick Puppies. Kabuto and Sakura have a very odd relationship of give and take. Abuse is a daily thing and while the two love each other, there is a mutual hatred. I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form. If I did, KabuSaku would be canon and Uchiha Sasuke would die.


**/Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto or the characters. I don't own the story or anything else. If I did, Kabuto and Sakura would make adorable babies for me to write about. Anyway, let me know what y'all think. Rate and comment below at the end of each chapter. Arigato and enjoy! /

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This goes back and forth between the POV of Sakura and Kabuto. Yes, this is a KabuSaku fanfiction. Don't like it? Don't read. No flaming. Feel free to rate and comment. Kabuto's POV is just normal font, Sakura's is bold.

She fell to the floor as I lost my temper again. I'd been doing that a lot lately. Seems that the more attached I became to this young woman; the easier it was to lose control of myself. The smirk on my face widened as I looked at her piteous form sprawled out before me. I knew she liked the pain I put her through, but part of me was just so annoyed that I only seemed to want to be with this girl, this beautiful young woman, when she was defiant and independent. She'd left me many a time but kept coming back. Why? I loved to break her when she came back. I loved toying with her mind, her emotions, everything. I am a monster in the most literal term possible. _Every time I end up breaking you, you change into something worth keeping. _Sad but true, my beautiful blossom, my Sakura chan; I only love when you come crawling back to me so that I can break you all over again.

**Dammit all, why do I keep running back to you, Kabuto kun? Feeling the small amounts of blood leave my face as I hit the floor was brutal. My nose was almost assuredly broken. Looking up into your eyes, I could see it. I know you love me, but love isn't enough to keep me here for more than a few days anymore. Every time I leave, you want me back. You tell me how much you love me, how we can make this work. The truth is that you love to break me, don't you? I know you do. Part of me loves the way you are able to do it so easily. The other part of me, the one that is sane, keeps telling me to leave. I occasionally listen to it, but not for long. You're so charming when you want to be. I guess I always come back because, not only do I love you, but I feel like I can change you. I get so close at times. I can see it, feel it. **_**Every time I'm close to saving you, you grow into a sin worth believing. **_**What a beautiful sin you are. What a monster you can be. I don't care. I'll always come back. I love you, Kabuto kun. Go ahead and eat away at my will, my heart, and my mind. Toy with me in any way that you'd like because you know that the insane part of me loves it. Do it for that sick pleasure that I know you get from our nights together.**

_You're everything I ever wanted but it's never enough. You're never enough. _You're never enough for me, my blossom. I always want more from you. Toying with you just isn't doing what I feel it should. You're trying to save me, aren't you? Haven't you always tried to save me, even at the cost of being ridiculed and mocked? Naruto san, why won't you listen to him? He keeps telling you how bad for you I am, yet you never listen. You know, it's not always a good thing to be a masochist. Hell, even hardcore masochists would say fuck it after being through what you have. It won't work, you saving me. I am too far gone for any of that. As she arose from the floor with that bloodied nose I myself had inflicted, I took a step back, placing myself on the bed behind me. She was heading this way. Surely, after all of that, she didn't still want to mess around. Kami, Sakura chan, why do you do this to yourself, I found myself wondering as my dark onyx eyes raked up and down her beaten down and bruised body. "Had enough..?" I asked with a sadistic grin. Why, why did I act like this? I'm sorry, Sakura chan. You're in love with a monster.

"**Are you done so soon..?" I retorted, able to tell very quickly that he was feeling regret. Why did I act like this? There actually was a sane part of my mind that told me to just punch him in the face, break 'his' nose, and leave. Never return was what the voice always told me. My inner self was annoying yet at times, very intelligent. Why did I never listen to it? **_**I'll take whatever I can take, whenever I can take it, if it ever comes. **_** Kabuto kun did not answer my question, merely pointed toward the door. "You can go if you'd like. I know you're thinking about it. What sane person would willingly let me bend and break them like this?" A large lump was stuck in my throat as I pondered his question. He was right. "I am already sane. I love you, dammit. Don't you understand that?! It's like you're incapable of love, like you're inhuman. You're a.."**

"I'm much worse than a monster, Sakura chan. If you're so certain that you're sane, why not leave?" I answered her question with another question. She hated when I did that and I found that fire in her when she was irritated adorable in a sick way. Then again, I'm a sick person. With a huff and tears I knew were my fault, Sakura turned and ran out the door. She was gone again and it was my doing. When will I learn? Right after she left, I regretted it. I always did. When she left, she became this independent, fiery, sassy young woman that I wanted, dare I see needed to break the will of. I couldn't have her being so independent when she was with me, and yet when she wanted to be with me, I found that I didn't want her. I do love you Sakura chan, but I also hate you. I know you hate me too, you have to. It's not logical for you to do anything else. _I hate you when you're gone. I hate you turn me on. I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are._ Oh Sakura chan, when will you learn? Will you ever learn is the true question. Why do you keep coming back to such a monster? Why do you allow me to break you? I know you love it and you know I love it. What's wrong with us? Didn't you say that you just wanted a normal relationship? This is far from normal._ I love it even more when I find you on the floor._ Kami it's true. I love keeping you pinned to the floor and doing unspeakable things to that fragile body of yours. Dammit, Sakura chan. Wise up and stay away this time. I know that I'm thinking this and yet, I want her to come back, I need her to. She'll come back. She always does.

**I hate you. I hate you so much. Dammit, why do I love you?! I shouldn't love you. You're a monster, a snake, cold hearted, evil, soulless. I know you hate me too. It isn't logical, as you would usually say. Oh Kami, now I am speaking like you. In anger, I fled. Tears rolled down my bruised porcelain face as I ran into the forest. I couldn't stop, not until I felt safe. I never felt safe anymore. I hate you. That was the only thing running through my head as I kept up my fast pace. When nightfall hit, I stopped. Leaning against a tree and breathing heavily, my knees scrunched up to my chest as I buried my head and cried. **_**I know you think you hate me but I will always hate you more.**_** Kabuto kun, why can't we have a normal relationship? I always asked myself this after leaving. We loved each other, that much was true. Why was it that love just wasn't enough anymore? Sure when I met him, he even managed to turn my attention briefly away from Sasuke kun. I wanted to be with him later on in life. The realization kicked in that I'd always wanted to be with him. I had always wanted a relationship, but not like this. **_**I never knew until I got a taste. What a waste for what I have been through.**_** I will not go back this time. I refuse. There is love and there is idiocy, and quite frankly, I teeter on the edge of that line almost every single day. I truly do hate you.**

I sat there on the bed waiting for her return. I was so certain that she'd come back, and yet it had been an entire week and she still refused. Stubborn little thing she is. Such a turn on though. No matter how many times we do this song and dance, nothing ever really changes. _Cause nothing ever really makes that change. I'm so ashamed of what I did to you._ As I start to feel something that I am not used to, I panic. Fear is a word that never crosses my mind when it comes to me, it's the thing that I inflict in other people, and yet as I sat there wondering and waiting, that emotion made itself known. Emotion is such a pitiful and useless thing. Damn you, Sakura chan. I only feel these things because of you. You're not coming back, are you? Finally, you've wizened up. I was beginning to think you were absolutely insane. This is for the better. It's what I told myself, and yet I was dying inside as I held on to the smallest fragment of hope that she'd come back just one last time. I need you, Sakura chan. I hate you and I love you. Please Kami let her come back.

_**I had to let you in to feel that rush. You were too much, way too much.**_** You were too much for me to handle anyway. That's what I told myself as I lay there in my bed. Naruto kun had come by on countless occasions to check on me and I'd turned him and everyone else away. He was the only one who knew of my sinful encounters with the Sound nin and he had agreed to keep it a secret on the condition that I was careful. If only he'd known how much he'd been lied to. Careful? I'm not even sure anyone in a relationship can truly know the meaning of that horrid word. When you're in bed with that person, feeling that sinful, blissful rush, you're not thinking about whether or not you should tread lightly or be careful. I am sorry, Naruto kun. Maybe one day I will tell you the truth. Oh Kami, I miss him. **

**I am insane. That is the only explanation of why I rose from my bed, threw off my bandages so that the world could see my scars and bruises. I wore them like medals for my accomplishments and ran out the door. By morning sun, I was back there again. The Sound was almost always quiet save the rustling of the trees and the dripping of water onto the cold, stone floors. "Kabuto kun.." He looked up at me when I said his name and something in his gaze that I knew all too well was there. He was glad that I was back. I was glad to be back. We had a mutual relationship full of pain and suffering, and yet we loved it. "I'm back.." I said with a small, sheepish smile.**

By this time, I just 'knew' that she wasn't coming back. She'd finally gotten some common sense and left me. Good and yet it wasn't good. It was bad. I missed her and that was worse. I heard her call my name just as I'd let go of that hope fragment. Turning with wide eyes, I had to press my glasses further on to my face to keep them from falling off. "Back for more, my foolish blossom?" I asked, though what she knew I meant was 'welcome back, Sakura chan. I missed you.' We embraced and she practically tackled me onto the bed. This was new to me. Never before had I allowed her to take such a position with me and yet, it was interesting enough for me to allow it. "I missed you.." she said against the shell of my ear, causing an involuntary shudder. I didn't answer her, I couldn't. The monster within me had decided to wake up already. No, this did not need to happen now, not when I just got her back. "I thought you'd learned your place by now, Sakura chan. I'd suggest getting there before I make you.." I knew she wanted me to make her, she always did. For some reason, she did as she was told, and that was no fun. "Giving up already?" I asked as I reached for something with which to bind her fragile limbs with. "No, I just want to make you happy, Kabuto kun. I love you.." I had to stop dead in my tracks for a moment. Such a foolish girl my blossom was and still is. "Sentiment means nothing to me. If you are going to do as you're told, it makes my job easier." Why could I never say how I truly felt? _I never knew until I got a taste. I'm so ashamed of what I did to you. _"I love you too, Sakura chan.." I finally managed it only to receive the biggest and tightest hug I'd ever gotten. In those moments we both realized something. No matter how dysfunctional our relationship was, it was indeed 'ours' and it would stay this way forever.

"_I hate you when you're gone."_

"_**I hate you turn me on."**_

"_I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are."_

We were back into our routine. My blossom took the abuse that I so eagerly bestowed upon her. No matter how much we loved each other, we'd always put the other through hell and back just to get the rush we so desperately craved.

"_I love it even more when I find you on the floor."_

"_**I know you think you hate me, but I will always hate you more." **_

"Perhaps you will always hate me more, my Sakura chan. As long as you put up with me, I don't think I mind it."

"**Perhaps I'll always put up with it because it is a mutual hatred, Kabuto kun."**

"I love you, Sakura chan.."

"**I love you too, Kabuto kun.."**


End file.
